Letting Go
by LadyZelthePen
Summary: They'd been together since birth, but sometimes its a good thing for one of them to make the first step forward in letting go. Even when it's painful. One-shot, complete.


The cityscape was dull; arranged before him in perfect symmetry with various shades of gray, black, and silver. The ticking of the clock inside the spacious office was in sync with the beating of his heart. He tapped out a rhythm on the window sill, watching the cars and the little people below. All looking like ants hurrying about their business; too caught up in their own private worlds to notice the beauty around them.

He looked up above the edge of buildings at the crimson sky that was just now tinged with purple. The golden sun slowly sank out of view, swathing the sky in its' leftover brilliance.

He smiled.

The phone in his pocket buzzed; a nuisance he had once called it. He fished it out, only barely glancing at the number displayed on the small screen.

"Hello?"

"Kaoru!" The voice on the other end, so painstakingly similar to his own and yet so different, proceeded to babble on about something, but he was beyond listening. For now, it was just good to hear his brother's voice again.

The voice faded away, mixing with the clock, his heartbeat, and the sound of traffic below. Just static of sound, if it could even be called that.

"Kaoru, I was wondering…will you be coming to the show over the weekend? I can get you a good seat, right next to me. That'll give everyone a scare- they won't know who's the designer and who's the tycoon."

He paused, watching a pair of pigeons take off from the edge of a building nearby. The clock's ticking came back into sharp focus, and he gasped.

"Hikaru, I would love to be there." His words were hollow, and if his twin noticed, he didn't say anything.

The remainder of their conversation was a mixture of details for flight arrangements, the matching outfits they should wear, and how was Haruhi doing on that big case of hers? When they did hang up, Kaoru leaned forward, his palms splayed against the cold glass. His cell phone sat on the window sill next to his right hand, the light still on from the call that had just ended.

Cold. It was an abstract description of how he felt; cold and gray, with sharp lines that would never fade away into undefinable smudges and the static of life around him.

A trip to Paris would be nice. He would see Hikaru's new designer line, and maybe he could catch up with Kyoya and Renge, if their schedule was open enough.

He pocketed the cell phone and gathered his coat and briefcase off the desk. He passed the receptionist on the way out, a slim woman in her early twenties with a pleasant smile.

"Tara, would you put in a call to Mr. Davidson for me? I'll be out of the country over the weekend, so he'll need access to my office and all the files therein. And, would you tell him not to let up on the Refco deal?"

"Of course, Mr. Hitachiin." She smiled pleasantly, nodding farewell to her employer.

He continued on to the elevator and pressed the cool silver button for the downstairs floor. The ground floor was empty when he got there, and he pulled out his keys for the Porsche parked outside. He'd learned that while limousines were stylish over in Europe and Asia, it was much better to drive a high-class car in the Americas. More of a public way to rub your wealth into everyone's faces, he supposed.

The car was silver, suiting his taste perfectly. He turned up the radio when he got in, as it was always tuned to the classical music channel.

It drowned out everything else.

* * *

His flight was delayed by five hours, but it didn't matter. Hikaru's new line wasn't supposed to debut until the following evening. He'd packed light for the trip; somehow it didn't seem necessary to bring too much. It was only a weekend trip.

Hikaru and Cosette met him at the terminal entrance. They were standing together; Hikaru's arm around Cosette's slim waist, and she had her arm around his. Even though they weren't looking at each other, he knew love when he saw it in their gazes.

After the greetings, they walked out to the waiting limo and the driver offered to take his bag. It had been a long time since he'd ridden in a limo; it seemed more spacious then he remembered.

His brother and his fiancé kept up a constant chatter the entire ride to Hikaru's current mansion; between the two of them, he managed to catch up on all the latest happenings in Paris and beyond. Kyoya and Renge were getting ready to celebrate their fifth year anniversary with a huge gala; perhaps he would like to come? Tamaki was currently staying in Rome for a piano concert, and Honey and Takashi were planning to hike Mount Fuji next week.

Overall, the entire ordeal left his head spinning, and he was glad when the limo pulled to a stop in front of the large house and they all got out. Hikaru showed him upstairs to one of the guest rooms while Cosette remained downstairs to alert the cook of the extra guest.

The room was spacious, a reminder of just how wealthy his brother was. It wasn't to say he wasn't as equally wealthy, but this was extravagant.

"Kaoru, its good to have you home." Hikaru leaned against the doorframe, watching him place the suitcase on the bed. "I've really missed you."

He looked at his brother, noting how a longing had settled across his other half's face. He sighed heavily, one hand resting on the suitcase handle. "I've missed you too, Hikaru."

* * *

They stepped out of the limo in one fluid motion, a testament to the years they spent mimicking each other during middle and high school. Hikaru had talked him into wearing a matching outfit with him- something his brother had designed in secret over the past month. The cameras flashed and the buzz of talk around them was near-deafening, but it was easy to tune it all out.

He just pictured the clock in his office, ticking away in its familiar rhythmic pattern.

The show was a brilliant display of color, and he noticed Hikaru seemed to be favoring feathers lately. He closed his eyes for half of it, losing himself in the static of talk around him. Hikaru nudged him more than once, and he tried to pay attention. Overall, the designs all looked the same but he tried to pay attention for his brother's sake.

Afterward, Hikaru suggested they all grab dinner at one of the five star restaurants nearby. Cosette quickly agreed, and he wasn't about to spoil their happy mood.

The food was good, and he kept up with the conversation easily. He didn't know what to say in response to Hikaru's questions about the show, but his response seemed to satisfy his brother.

"We should do this more often," Cosette suggested as they walked back out to the waiting limo, and Hikaru readily agreed. They looked at him for his response, and after a moment, he nodded.

"Sounds good."

* * *

News exploded the following morning of the second Hitachiin's presence, and Hikaru tossed down the copy of the morning paper at the breakfast table.

"We should do this more often, just like old times." He nudged Kaoru's shoulder with a smile. "Say, would you mind filling in for me during some of my press conferences this month? I've been meaning to take Cosette out for awhile, but my schedule has been really crammed."

He slowly nodded, setting aside the half-eaten glazed donut. "Just give me the dates. I'll do what I can for both of you."

Somehow, over the years it had become a part of his identity to serve his brother. Hikaru had always been the flighty one in their relationship, and when they were in high school, Kaoru had made the first step to break away. They couldn't be seen as a single pair; he wanted the world to know them as two individuals. He'd gotten used to the idea of being apart, even if Hikaru hadn't seen his reasoning in the beginning. But slowly, he'd done little things of sacrifice to make Hikaru happy. It started with a date with Haruhi in high school; attending press conferences would be no different.

Hikaru and Cosette needed to be happy together. He would make sure of it.

They had business at the studio that morning, leaving Kaoru alone in the large mansion in the blessed silence. He pulled out his laptop and began typing, switching to his cell phone after a few minutes.

"Good morning Tara," he said when the receptionist had picked up. "Is Mr. Davidson in the office today?"

"Yes sir, I'll put you through to him."

He turned to face the window overlooking the professionally manicured lawn below. He watched a pair of gardeners at work on the hedge bordering the long driveway.

"Mr. Hitachiin?" Davidson's voice held more than one question, none of which were openly voiced.

"Neil, good to hear your voice." Kaoru turned away from the window, glancing around the guest bedroom he'd been given. "Listen- I think I'm going to be staying out of the country for a while; a vacation, you could say. I've already instructed Tara to give you full access to my office and everything in it. Think you can handle the remainder of the Refco deal?"

"Yes sir, you can trust me with that."

"Good, glad to hear it. I'm going to be faxing a document to you later in the week. Its highly top-secret, so when you get it, I don't want anyone else in the company but you to know. When you receive the document, I want you to handle everything with the law offices. Feel free to give them my cell if anything needs straightened out, but it shouldn't be too much of an issue for you."

"Sir, if I could ask-"

"No, I'm afraid not Neil. You'll understand later, but for right now I want you to run the company during my absence. You're a good man, and I trust you with that."

"Thank you sir."

They exchanged a few other pleasantries over the phone and then hung up. Kaoru sighed heavily, looking at the small cell phone in his hand.

He had a long road ahead.

* * *

Hikaru had always been one to hold tight to something, and it had been hard for him to let go. Kaoru knew his brother's struggle with it all, but it was better for them this way. When they were younger, they had shared everything. They didn't let anyone into their private world until Tamaki Souh had talked them into joining his Host Club in high school. But even then, they were still untouchable by most of the things in the world.

The girls who regularly attended the Host Club day after day were intently fascinated with their act of brotherly romance. Of course, it had only ever been an act- there was no way either of them would have crossed that line with each other. They were brothers first and foremost.

But that didn't stop them from sharing a bed.

Hikaru was always the one to crawl in with his brother. It had started when they were just infants in the same crib, and when their parents had tried to put them in separate beds, they would always wake up in the same one. There was no harm in it- they just needed to know the other was still there, still so close. Or, more accurately, Hikaru needed to know his brother was still there, still so close.

Now it was his turn.

Kaoru stood in the doorway, the light from the hall spilling into the darkened room where his brother was asleep. He could hear the gentle breathing of both Hikaru and Cosette (in all honesty, he thought it was kind of gross how they were sleeping together before the wedding, but he wasn't going to tell Hikaru that), and he could make out their shapes in the dark.

He moved to the side of the bed Hikaru had taken over. His brother had his arm around Cosette as she was laying on her side with her back toward him. He hated to disturb them, but tonight was important. She wouldn't like it that he'd disturbed them, but this was bigger than her. She would have to get over it.

"Just for tonight, Hikaru," he whispered as he crawled in next to his brother. "I just need to know you're there."

* * *

When he wakes up, he can hear the clock. It's sound is constant and it fills the whole room with its set pattern.

He shifts, the sheets are tangled around him, but he's alone. And he knows.

_Not much time now._

_Terminal. _

_I've missed you, Kaoru._

_Sir, if I could ask..._

_No. _

He didn't realize he was crying until he feels the sobs wracking his body. He curls up, pulling the sheets and blankets closer, tighter around him. It's useless now; he won't be the calm and collected Hitachiin any longer, but he tries anyway.

When he walks downstairs, Hikaru and Cosette are finishing breakfast.

"I'm going for a walk," he mutters as he steps out.

* * *

The Otari gala is large, and he feels small in response. It's a blur of color around him, reminding him so much of Hikaru. He stands by the window, closer to the darkened sky outside and the few glittering stars visible with the city lights. He can see Tamaki talking to Kyoya and Renge closer to the food table. Hikaru and Cosette are in the center of the room surrounded by a multitude of faithful followers. Honey and Mori were still in Switzerland, but they'd sent along their congratulations over the phone. Haruhi hadn't been able to leave her big case, and she likewise sent along her congratulations.

It was funny to him how pointless this event was. He laughed bitterly, glancing down at the untouched wine glass in hand.

"Something funny?" Kyoya asked, and he remembered that the Otari had the habit of coming up on the unassuming person.

"Nothing, really, and then everything is." Kaoru turned back to the window, his grip tightening on the glass. "Congratulations, by the way. I'm really happy you and Renge made it five years; hoping you make it to ten."

Kyoya settled him with a piercing look, one he knew all too well. He kept his gaze fixed on the window panes, hoping Kyoya will just go away.

"Is everything alright, Kaoru? You don't look so well."

"I'm fine." _No, I'm not. Go away._

"You know the Otari hospitals are always open to friends of mine. If you'd want to be certain, I can always arrange for you to stay in one of the better facilities."

Kaoru turned, swallowing. "Would you all just stop worrying about me? I told you I was fine!"

Kyoya raised a brow toward him, and he realized just how painfully silent the room had become. His shoulders slumped.

"I'm fine," he whispered. "Just leave me be..."

* * *

He paced along the wall in the adjacent room, listening to the sounds of the party occurring just next door. After his outburst, he'd slipped away for a moment to collect himself again.

Kyoya knew because he wasn't stupid. He was a doctor; he knew something was up. The others were too oblivious to realize, but he would tell them and then Kaoru would have to explain everything. It would be better if he didn't say anything, but they would hate him for hiding it for so long. He felt like he was running circles and always coming back to the same painful conclusion.

He had to tell them.

Kaoru sighed heavily and sat down on the couch in the room. It was quiet in here, except for the clock. He glared at it, willing it to stop, but it only continued ticking. If he could, he would destroy every clock in the known world, but that wouldn't change anything.

Time was slipping away, and there was nothing he could do to stop it now.

* * *

Hikaru was the first one to walk in after the party had ended, and he was surprisingly followed by only Tamaki, Kyoya, and Renge. He didn't move from where he stood by the large window, his gaze fixed on the few stars visible despite the city lights.

"Alright Kaoru, what's going on?" his twin demanded, folding his arms across his lean chest with a scowl on his face. "You can't just interrupt a party like that! Do you realize how many people Renge had to talk to before everything returned to normal? I mean, I'm usually the one who gets worked up about stuff, but you?"

They were all watching him, waiting for a response. Kyoya was the only one who looked as if he knew what was going on. Hikaru was angry, Renge looked concerned. Tamaki was somewhere between a state of shock and confusion, which was normal.

"Kaoru, you need to talk to us. We're your friends," Renge said softly. She looked as if she wanted to close the distance, envelope him in a hug, but she stayed where she was by Kyoya's side.

He fully faced them, hands in his pockets. "I do apologize for my outburst in your party, Renge. It was rude of me, and I am sorry." He paused for a moment, gauging the mood of the room. "I've already called my partner at my office back in New York; I've arranged everything for my vacation, which is indefinite. As soon as I pull up the necessary deeds and forms, Mr. Davidson will have complete ownership of all the stocks and companies."

"Kaoru, what are you saying?" Hikaru closed the distance, laying a hand on his arm. He looked up at his older brother, noting the warmth and concern in his gaze. "You can't just hand over everything to that man; you've worked too hard."

"Hikaru..." He glanced at the others. "Kyoya, Renge, Tamaki... I have terminal cancer."

At that moment, he could have heard a pin drop, but he only heard the clock. Kyoya's glasses had taken on that glint; he was thinking. Renge looked as if she was close to tears. Tamaki was too speechless to show any reaction at all. But Hikaru...

In one word, his brother was heartbroken. He could see it his face, in his eyes, in the way he stood there so utterly shocked and confused...

"Kaoru..." Hikaru whispered. "When..?"

"I've been seeing the doctor for the past three months, but it was only confirmed this past week. I'd actually just come from the hospital when you called, Hikaru, for your show."

"Is there anything we can do to help?" Kyoya asked, breaking the too-painful silence.

"Actually, I think there is. Don't act weird around me."

* * *

_"How long before..?" He couldn't bring himself to say it._

_The doctor set aside the clipboard, fixing him with a gaze that could only be described as sympathetic. "Not long, I'm afraid. You happen to be one of those rare cases, Mr. Hitachiin. From what data I've gathered, you have a month at best."_

_One month. _

_He looked at the clock, and for the first time in his life, Hitachiin Kaoru heard it's steady ticking._

* * *

The house was quiet, but he was used to silence. Somehow, the quiet seemed out of place in his brother's mansion. When he glanced at the clock, it was late in the morning. He wasn't used to oversleeping; he usually got to the office earlier than the other staff because of the traffic.

A glance in the mirror was like looking at a perfect stranger. The ginger hair and topaz eyes are the same, and he's every bit as pale as he was in high school. But something's off, something he can't quite determine. He almost thinks he's lost weight, but his eating habits haven't changed.

He shakes the thoughts away and heads downstairs slowly, despite still being dressed in his sleep-clothes. Hikaru won't mind, but Cosette might throw a fit. Whatever.

He doesn't find them in the dining room or the kitchen; he should have figured as much. They have a busy schedule, and he's not asking them to take time out of their day just for him.

It's been years since he's eaten cold cereal, but he recalls Hikaru mentioning Cosette enjoyed it on her busier days. He doesn't pay much attention to the brand or flavor, just pours a bowl and sits down at the kitchen island.

"There you are." His brother's voice, so painstakingly similar to his own, was one of the most wonderful things he'd heard in a long time. "Having cereal?"

Hikaru laughed and pulled out a chair to sit opposite him.

"Where's Cosette today?" Kaoru asked, setting aside the now-empty bowl.

"I told her to shove off." Hikaru shrugged as if it was the most normal thing in the world. "This week is all about you and me, just the two of us hanging out. I think she can handle being alone for a little while."

He smiled. "Thanks."

* * *

He feels small in the bed, smaller than he should have. The sheets are pulled around him tightly, but they don't keep the chill away.

"You feeling okay?" The concern that has been evident in Hikaru's voice for the past two weeks is now unmistakable. He reached over and brushed the hair from Kaoru's eyes, and he takes a shuddering breath.

"I'm alright," he whispers. Hikaru moves his hand, but he latches on. "Don't leave me, not yet."

He nods in reply, and tears are visible in his eyes.

The others have come and gone, but Kyoya is still there. He took it upon himself to personally see to Kaoru's immediate comfort, a gesture done out of pure kindness. Hikaru is the only one who is staying by his bedside.

"Hikaru, do you remember what I once said about the pumpkin?"

His face scrunches in confusion for a moment, and then he nods. "That was during the Halloween festival at school; you were talking about a pumpkin."

"I always thought our story was like Cinderella; just hear me out for a minute." He straightens up, and Hikaru takes his arm to steady him. "We were all so different, so caught up in our own worlds. But Tamaki brought us together; he put the spell on the pumpkin."

Hikaru's face lights up with understanding for a brief moment, but then he regards his younger brother with confusion. "But what does that have to do with us now?"

"Hikaru, don't you see? We're all a family here- all of us. It doesn't make any sense, but we fit together so well. So, maybe the spell ended and the magic is gone, but we're still a family." He clutches at Hikaru's shirt. "Don't you ever let go of any of them, for my sake. I wanted you to let go for the longest time, but don't you let go of them."

"Then...what?"

He sees the tears streaming down his brother's face, and he knows he's crying just as hard. "You have to let me go, Hikaru."

Hikaru doesn't say anything, but he holds him close as he sobs. "I don't think I can, Kaoru. You're my brother, my other half! We've always been together..."

He pulls away just enough to wipe the tears away from Hikaru's eyes, even as the action exhausts him. "Hikaru, I will always be with you. You know that... We've all moved on from that day, but we're still family." His voice drops to a dead whisper, and he closes his eyes for a moment. "I'll be with you, my brother..."

* * *

Kyoya steps into the guest bedroom hours later to find the two brothers snuggled up close on the large bed. It's a testament to how close they were in life, the hours they spent in their own private company without needing anyone else.

He crosses the room and lays a hand on Hikaru's shoulder; he's never been able to tell them apart before, but today is different. Gently, he pries Hikaru's hands away from his brother's shirt and passes his hand over Kaoru's lifeless eyes.

"Just let him go, Hikaru," he whispers. "It's going to be okay."

* * *

_The last will and testament of Hitachiin Kaoru:_

_The bulk of my wealth is to go to my twin brother, Hitachiin Hikaru, and his wife Cosette. They are free to spend it as they see fit. _

_My company is to pass into the hands of one Neil Davidson, along with all of the company buildings, stocks, and funds that go with it. _

_My apartment in New York and everything in it, and the Porsche are to be donated to the local children's hospital for auction. All proceeds will go to help children with cancer._

_My apartment in London and everything in it is to be donated to the local homeless shelter for auction, with the exception of the grand piano._

_The grand piano is to go to one Souh Tamaki. Play well, my friend._

_To my brother, Hikaru... It hasn't changed into a pumpkin yet. _


End file.
